A whole year has passed since I last wrote a blog for the website. Everyone says time flies when you have children but I never thought it would be going by quite this quickly!! I have been thinking about writing things down for a while but (like I said) time just keeps running away from me. I wanted to highlight some of the challenges we’ve faced over the past few months, its really important to share not only the good times (of which there are plenty) but some of the tougher ones too. So this is basically me unloading 18 months worth of emotions into a few paragraphs.
Sorry in advance.
Well who would have thought parenting, running a business, having a house, two dogs and a husband would require endless spreadsheets to keep everything and everyone organised? My head literally hurts every time I think about the schedule for the next day/week. Its exhausting!! Plus I only have one child, I have new found respect and admiration for those with two or more kids. The key is definitely planning ahead, luckily my weekly diary is pretty much set so its easier fitting everything in. At least I have a few years before all the after school clubs start!
It seems like there will never be a time that I actually feel on top of anything. Its different for every family, no one situation is the same. Currently I am battling with overwhelm and severe mum guilt! With the type of business we run and the hours we work life can become very regimented, throw a toddler into the mix and it changes the dynamic completely. I’m constantly having to rush William’s morning routine so I can get out of the door with enough time to get to work, he’s passed from grandparent to grandparent (which he loves) just so Kev and I can both get some work done and the time I do have with him, I’m so unbelievably exhausted I don’t feel like I give him the attention he deserves. I know every parent must feel the same but it sends my mum guilt through the roof. Ive always liked to think Ive been relatively organised and tend to have my shit together but recently, I’ve not (which can be a really tough pill to swallow). I still currently feel in that funk and haven’t quite figured out how to gain back a little more control but I think William starting nursery in September will give me a couple of days a week to catch up with myself.
Which leads nicely on to work/life balance, where at the moment the scales are definitely tipping right over towards the work side! This is something I really struggle with and as much as I advocate it to all of my clients I admit I do not take my own advice. Taking time for yourself and doing things that make you happy plays a massive roll in improving your mental and physical health, plus its like an upward spiral. If you’re happier in yourself, you’re more productive at work, at home, happier with the family etc. The one thing I love is training or doing sport, but right now I use every excuse under the sun not to do it. I just don’t have the free time I used to but the solution is very simple, I need to adapt my weekly routine and make the time, I just haven’t quiet figured out how to do that yet. Maybe I need a PT??
And no thats not what I’m taking about! I mean actually spending quality time with and talking to adults (without children). I never noticed how much I missed adult conversation until I went back to work. This was something that really took me by surprise as I couldn’t seem to hold a conversation without brain fog kicking in. Spending so much time away from work and adults definitely knocked my confidence, I was finding myself questioning everything I said
“Did I say that right?” “Did that make sense?” “Ah I don’t know what to say”
But its like anything, the more you do the better you get.
Its also important to spend time with adults (especially partners) for your sanity and to help you remember what life was like before you became a mum or dad. Now, as you know Kev and I work together so everything is consumed by the business, which sometimes can cause the slight argument, particularly if were sleep deprived. Only recently have we made a pact to spend at least one night out a month (I know, pushing the boat out), to go and have dinner or a few drinks and actually enjoy each others company.
Ok rant over, if you got this far well done.
On a serious note I hope this helps those of you who may be going through the same things we are, its completely normal and theres no right or wrong way to parent. You just have to do whats best for you.
If you have any questions or would just like to off load (as I have done) then please contact us via the website.